Doing it by myself

I cycle with Alex. Other than during two women-only Ride the Night events, every time I've been out on my bike - over the course of the past two years - I've had Alex by my side (...or in front of me, or behind me - depending on the prevailing wind!). I would never have got on my bike, that day in Arran when I became hooked on cycling, if it hadn't have been for Alex's gentle persuasion and encouragement. And, that's the way it's carried on. Gently (well, most of the time anyway) encouraging me, boosting my confidence and supporting me during every ride. That's the way I like it - cycling's something we do together and I definitely don't want that to change.

However, I've decided it's time that I plucked up the courage to get out on my bike on my own sometimes. I need to up my training in preparation for Cycle Africa and that means sometimes heading out for a cycle when Alex can't manage. (Plus, Alex is, at last, almost injury-free and back running again, and I definitely don't want to hinder his progress with that! Running will always be his first love - as far as sport's concerned - so it's important that he can get out and do it now that he's able to again.)

Now, some of you will be thinking I'm a right numpty for having to 'pluck up courage' to cycle on my own, especially those of you who do that all the time and don't think anything of it. But for me it's a bit of a big deal. I've worried irrationally about how I'd cope if I got a puncture, what I'd do if I fell off my bike out in the middle of nowhere, and how I'd manage without having Alex to gee me on and have a blether with! My daughter reminded me last year, during Ride the Night when I hit a pothole and sustained a double puncture then went into a bit of a meltdown at the thought of trying to change both inner tubes, that we were 'strong, independent women' then proceeded to get stuck in to fix the punctures. I'm proud that my wee girl has grown up into such a capable and independent young woman - and I wish I had half of her self-confidence! It was a great example of what Ride the Night is supposed to be all about; women doing it for themselves...

So, the other day I plucked up some courage and ventured out on my road bike on my own for a very short cycle along the main road from our house. And it was fine. And today I ventured out on my old hybrid for a short cycle along one of the bumpy back roads from my village. And it was great!

Today's ride was only 8 miles along a quiet country track (with a nice wee stop in our neighbouring village for a scone!), but it felt like a bigger accomplishment. I've risen to one of my own personal challenges on the road to Tanzania.

I won't be on my own in Africa, I'll be with a bunch of incredible women and I'll be well supported, but I want to go there with with the confidence that I can look after myself and cope with any situation that might arise, without worrying that I won't have Alex there to fall back on.

And after today's little ride, I feel like I've taken a big step towards that. I'd still much rather be with Alex when I'm out cycling than be on my own - but that's just because I enjoy his company so much. Not because I'm worried that I can't manage it on my own.

It's left me thinking that my daughter might be quite proud of her old maw..!

Just the cows for company today